National Adoption Month: Domestic Adoptions Built St. Michael Family

When Michelle and Earl married in 1998 they thought they'd wait to have kids but it wasn't long before they decided they didn't want to wait.

"I remember Earl saying, 'What are we waiting for?'" Michelle said.

Not long after, they found out that they wouldn't be able to have children biologically. The St. Michael couple explored its options. 

"We looked into invitro, but it didn't feel right and adoption had always been something on my heart," Michelle said. Michelle's best friend growing up had been adopted and that really impacted her desire to adopt.

"I decided that I didn't need to be pregnant, I just wanted to be a mom," she said. So Earl and Michelle began what can be a long, expensive process into adoption.

That included finding an agency, going through orientation, completing a home study–which included paperwork, background checks, reference letters and financial information–and finally a home visit.

Once approved, the adoptive parents profile can be shown to expectant parents. You can see the Berglunds profile book here.

This is where the time can either fly, or not move fast enough.

"We waited less than two months after our home study to find out about Carson [now 9]," Michelle said. But the wait for Dayne, now 3, was almost two years.

"We had eight sets of expectant parents look at our profile while we were waiting for Dayne. It was a hard wait," she said.

In the end, the family spent between $15,000 and $20,000 on each adoption.

"Those costs cover paperwork and home study fees and services, prenatal and mental health care for the birth mom. We did not buy our children, we paid for services to adopt our children," Michelle said.

Most don't have that money laying around, the Berglunds didn't either.

"It's like anything, you find a way to do it," Earl said.

Earl and Michelle have a very open adoption with the birth parents of both boys.

"We're friends on Facebook. I share pictures, and Carson's mom has visits about once a year. People think it's confusing for the boys but really, it's like a relative you don't see very often."

Their desire to be open was also fueled by Michelle's childhood friend.

"She never knew her birth parents and always wondered," Michelle said.

The Berglunds are very open with others and their boys about their adoption.

"Want to know how I feel about being adopted?" Carson asks midway through the interview. "I think it's great. I've got two moms, and I'm very happy!"

"We've always been open with the boys that they were adopted, praying for their birth moms. We never wanted it to be a surprise," Michelle said.

And she is quick to clarify the stereotypes of birth moms.

"People assume birth moms are young, unwed, unfit mothers. But, really, it's all circumstancial." Birth moms can be married, divorced, single and even mothers already.

"They made a very hard decision, and without these women I wouldn't be a mom. I have nothing but admiration and gratitude for the great gift they gave me," Michelle said.