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National Adoption Month: St. Michael Family Welcomes One of Minnesota's Waiting Children

As part of our series on adoption this month, Jenn & Scott Saxe share their story of adopting their daughter who was one of Minnesota's Waiting Children.

On the one year anniversary of her life-changing decision, St. Michael's Jenn Saxe looked back on the decision to adopt.

"Adoption has always been on my heart," she said. "I'd always told my husband that I wanted to adopt some day but it took him time to grow into it."

A few years back though, Jenn's husband of 15 years, Scott, brought up adoption out of the blue. "We hadn't even been talking about it at the time, so within minutes I was on the phone."

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Originally the family had planned to adopt a child younger than their youngest daughter, Katherine, now 9. They started out looking at sibling groups through Hope Adoption out of Stillwater. Once the process and homestudy got going, the Saxe family was excited by the potential matches the agency had for them.

"It was a roller coaster. Over time we were given 14 potential matches, and none ended up working. Sometimes birth families would step in, sometimes foster families, and sometimes it was our end that wasn't going to work," Jenn said.

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"It's a really emotional, discouraging process," she said.

In September 2009, KSTP's Thursday's Child was a girl named Ashley that the family thought "seemed like a cool kid, but was definitely older than we were looking."

They never forgot, though. But by February 2010, Jenn was about ready to give up.

"The agency invited us to an event where there are about 15 kids there and 50 adults to mingle and see if there are any connections. I remember on the drive there saying, 'All right, God. If this is suppose to be something for us, show us today."

She also, "wondered aloud if Ashley would be there."

Ashley was.

By the time Jenn and Scott left the event, they felt as though they were leaving a child behind.

"I left in tears," Jenn said. Both Scott and Jenn had been given some individual time with Ashley and just felt it was right.

The process was still not over though, and it would prove to be grueling. At one point, the family got out of the equation but later begged to be back in.

"We had to have so many interviews by so many people involved in her life, and then one of her previous foster families stepped in with interest. It was so hard," she said.

Because Ashley would be turning 18 in December, time was of the essence. When the Saxe family got back into the equation, they moved to front. And, finally, the family was thrilled in May 2010 to sign papers. Soon, Katherine and Walter, 11, met their new sister.

Ashley had been unaware that anyone had been looking into adopting her, so the Saxe family was shocked to find out she remembered them and had even asked the agency about them.

Ashley's adoption was finalized on November 20, 2010, on National Adoption Day. and just three weeks before her 18th birthday.

One year later, the family is doing great. "The three of our kids meshed as though they have always been together," Jenn said.

They didn't take adoption lightly though, they worked really hard through family therapy.

Ashley had been in the foster care system since she and her twin brother, Aaron, were taken from their mom at age two for abusive and neglectful behavior. Aaron and Ashley were 9-year-olds they when they were seperated.

Aaron had been deemed unadoptable due to some of his behavioral challenges.

Last spring, Ashley, a girl that teachers have been known to say tries harder than anyone, graduated from high school at St. Michael-Albertville High School. It was an amazing accomplishment for a girl who in 15 years, had 17 different homes.

"There was no stability or continuity and she came to us on a pharmacy of medications, all of which we had her off of within six months," Jenn said.

Today, Ashley, three weeks away from her 19th birthday, celebrates one year in her forever family, and works at Target and Pizza Hut.

"She's saving up for a car," Jenn said.

For those considering or looking into adoption and daunted by the process and expense, Jenn has this encouragement to share.

"Look into it. And remember older kids need families. There are 400 kids in Minnesota waiting for families. A lot of these are good kids brought into horrible circumstances who just need a family," she said.

Those daunted by the expense need to know that when adopting off the Minnesota Waiting Children list, your adoption is 100 percent free.

"You'll still get to see the firsts," Jenn said. "Ashley's life had been so sheltered that her world was so small before. She's a great girl, never ever using her circumstances for a crutch, instead she's determined to overcome them."

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