While its the entire world's responsibility to understand what can be the dark side of some international adoptions, you cannot systematically categorize all adoptions to fit these horrors. The truth is, many, many adoptions are wonderful blessings and I am surprised at the lack of your ability to offer this truth in your article.

"The response: 'I did not buy my children, I paid for services to adopt my children' may be comforting to the adopter when asked about payments and fees, but may be a semantic game akin to adoptive parent Jerry Sandusky saying he did nothing wrong, just 'horsed around' with naked boys in the shower!"

There is absolutely NO logic in this connection. The mere suggestion of this is offensive, period. This statement equates using an agency for adoption to being a sexual predator. You clearly owe Michele Berglund an apology.

"Every adoption – domestic or international – begins with a tragedy, not a plan." I completely disagree. Unless you were personally in attendance when the child was conceived, you cannot make this claim. Two people may be completely in love, conceive a child even when using protection, but not be able to provide care for that child. This does not equate to a tragedy. A tragedy is the mom that chooses to put that child in the river instead of choosing adoption.

While I appreciate your ability to offer information not already covered in the adoption series, not all adoptions are doom and gloom.

Well said Jessica! I am the product of a domestic adoption, and I'm quite happy that my parents "purchased" me. I can never say, that I wasn't wanted or that my birth was a mistake. There is another side of this adoption discussion that has been ignored as well, and I didn't feel necessary to bring up. However, now that Ms. Ruben has chimed in with her opinions, I think it might be worthwhile to mention that there is a lack of concern for the domestic adopted child's rights as well. My adoption was done through the Catholic Charities of North Dakota in a "Closed" or "Private" adoption. This method was much more common than an open adoption when I was born, and was advised to birth parents that it would be "easier". Very little information about my birth and ethnic background was given to my parents and I have no family medical history.
As an adult, I am not allowed access to my birth parent's identifying information. I can pay a large fee to "request" the information be released; that is if Catholic Charities can locate my birth parents to ask their consent to release it. There are several ways to locate birth parents with the help of investigators etc...However, this should not be necessary. Every adopted child should legally have access to their birth parents identifying information, for no cost. If the information is there, it should be made available. I imagine someone will argue about the birth parent's right to privacy, but I truly feel it goes with the territory.

How DARE you put Jerry Smolinski in the same sentence with someone who has lovingly opened their home to a child? How does alluding to that story belong in a story on adoption? If you are trying to sensationalize, Ms. Ruben, you have done so at the cost of losing any credibility you might have.

I have no doubt that corrupt adoption exists. However, just complaining about the problem helps no one. Can you offer us solutions? How do you propose to separate the "caring, intentional adopters" from the apathetic, accidental ones? What a silly description.

While shining a light on child trafficking and corruption is admirable, lumping the many, many wonderful people who adopt in with the criminals is ridiculous. Stop attacking the good people and find a way to get rid of the bad.

Sandusky is not in the news for adopting children. You know what the man is accused of. It's an offensive comparison. End of story.

However, what Mr. Sandusky IS in the news for does seem to include his adopted children and grandchildren. Hm.

The reason that Ms. Riben states that "every adoption begins with a tragedy" is not due to the circumstances of conception (at least not in most cases), but in the separation and destruction of the natural family. There is NO instance in which splitting apart parents and their children can be considered a joyous and happy occasion. THAT is always a tragedy, and that is what she is referring to.

Mirah,
I recognize that people are curious about things out of the ordinary. Our adoption agency prepared us well for this, and gave us the proper tools to find out the motivation behind people’s questions so we can answer politely, appropriately, and informatively.

I am an adoptive mom who also married interracially. From experience, I know that I receive different comments/questions when out with my Korean husband and children than when I am out alone with my children. In a society where cross-cultural marriage is increasingly common, I do find it intriguing how many people assume my children were adopted rather than the product of an interracial race marriage.

In response to your question, I do not think it is wrong to ask if my children were a sibling group or adopted separately. My response at the time was “They are not biologically related, but they are brother and sister in our family.” As I stated initially, my children are listening to both the questions and my responses, so I make efforts to be honest, while respecting their privacy. I also owe it to my children to answer additional questions they have after these encounters.

Being asked how much adoption costs may be reasonable. I probe for the motivation behind the question so I can point the person towards appropriate resources. I believe part of a parent’s uncomfortable feelings about the price of adoption is that once you become a parent, it doesn’t matter. We are busy being parents, not dwelling on the steps it took to become parents. Nor do we need to share those financial details in front of our children. Quite frankly, as many times as the question has come up, it always seems to take me by surprise. It is interesting that we don’t ask strangers how much money they make or how much their car cost, but asking adoption cost questions is acceptable.

Finally, I want to address your comment that no birth parent makes an adoption plan. You are absolutely correct that there is tragedy in every adoption. There is loss. Whether losing a child, or losing a family and heritage, there are many, many layers to these losses that we can’t begin to address here. I don’t know any adoptive parent who will tell you otherwise. However, a birth parent in a domestic adoption that works with an agency, chooses a family, and possibly sets up guidelines for visiting/updates/pictures is certainly making an adoption plan. A birth parent in an international adoption that specifies a country, religious preference, or some communication is making an adoption plan. Even a birth parent that makes a decision to leave their child in a place where they will be found is doing her best to provide for her child in unfortunate circumstances. Yes, it is tragic and it is a loss, but the actions are intentional.

You are correct; there are dark sides to adoption too. There is corruption. There is tragedy. There is loss. There are children who need families. There are families waiting for children. But there is also hope, and joy, and a love that cannot be captured in words.

Jessica said: "you cannot systematically categorize all adoptions to fit these horrors." I did NOT and never have painted all adoptions with the same broad brush. However, as to you being "surprised at the lack of [my] ability to offer this truth in your article"....are you suggesting that children are NOT stolen and kidnapped, trafficked for adoption?

I suggest you read:

- Orphaned or Stolen: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/schuster-institute-for-investigative-journalism/orphaned-or-stolen-the-us_b_825451.html
- Duped by Indian adoption agency, US family cautions couples. http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics/nation/Duped-by-Indian-adoption-agency-US-family-cautions-couples/articleshow/5964751.cms
- Julia Rollins story at: http://bittersweet-story.blogspot.com/
- The Lie We Love by E.J.Graff http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2008/12/11/the-lie-we-love
-The works of David Smolin on child trafficking: works.bepress.com/david_smolin/1/

To truly know great joy, one must have also experienced great heartache. Adoption is founded on love, not tragedy. Unfortunately, as in all matters, there are predators that can turn even the most beautiful thing into something ugly. We are lucky, however, that those people are the exception and not the rule.
As for the destruction of the "natural family"; family is about love, not blood. Love is what makes us human; it is our reason for existence. A family without love, no matter how "natural", is nothing more than two people trying to pass along their DNA and ensure the survival of our species.

Re China, read:
- http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/nyregion/chinas-adoption-scandal-sends-chills-through-families-in-united-states.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2
- http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adoption-stories/200909/la-times-chinese-babies-stolen-foreign-adoption
- http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/5824/
- http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/jan-2009/juliafuller/was-baby-you-adopted-china-stolen-or-purchased

Re Ethiopia: http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2010/05/must-see-video-news-report-about-child.html
- http://www.ethicanet.org/ethiopia-to-cut-foreign-adoptions-by-up-to-90-percent

I didn't make any of this up. These are FACTS and my point is that the public is being made aware of these atrocities.

As for the reference to Sandusky:
1) He is an adoptive parent and has fostered many children. He is in fact a past recipient of the Angel in Adoption Award.
2) My reference was, however, more so to the sugar-coating of facts with semantics. An earlier version of the article, before editing for length, also used the analogy of calling war missiles "peace makers." To say you pay "fees" but are not paying for a child - no fees, no child! Domestically, baby selling laws are circumvented by calling payments made directly from prospective adopters to expectant mothers by calling it "expenses." These are simply legal loopholes and semantics. Web sites publish PRICE LISTS based on age, health and skin color for goodness sale. I am not making this stuff up either. it's out there and the public sees it as they can see the payoff in the documentary mentioned.

Don't shoot the messenger:

"Over the past 30 years, the number of families from wealthy countries wanting to adopt children from other countries has grown substantially. At the same time, lack of regulation and oversight, particularly in the countries of origin, coupled with the potential for financial gain, has spurred the growth of an industry around adoption, where profit, rather than the best interests of children, takes centre stage. Abuses include the sale and abduction of children, coercion of parents, and bribery." UNICEF's position on Inter-country adoption.

Not one single fact in either of my books has been challenged for authenticity! Every word in it is cited and commented.

And I said no mother other than a surrogate intentionally conceives with the thought of giving her baby away. that too is a fact. The word "plan" is very offensive to mothers who have been pressured or given little options because of their finances etc. It offends me and many others of us.

Erica says; "Adoption is founded on love, not tragedy." From the perspective of those who benefit from another's tragedy that is true. For myself and many many mothers - and adoptees - that is not OUR truth and it ay nor be your child's truth. To deny that your child has suffered a loss adds to their pain and inability to mourn properly.

"family is about love, not blood....A family without love..." Are you implying that no mother who suffers the tragic loss of a child to adoption does not love her child? How very sad for any children you might have or might in the future adopt to instill such assumption in the, that they were unloved or unwanted. And please do not assume to know how I or any other mother who looses a child to adoption feels! I LOVE my precious first child every bit as much as I love the children I raised! back in the 60's when my adoption occurred single mothers were convinced that relinquishing was the truly LOVING thing to do and that keeping our babies would have bene selfish. Now you want to tell me it was not love? Do you also want to tell that tot he mothers who had their babies stolen of kidnapped to fill a demand, or who simply sacrificed so their child could have a "better life"?

Love is not a competition. Parents love many children. Children love multiple parents and multiple sets of grandparents. Loving adoptive parents are able to recognize the love of their children's original family, not dismiss it.

Did somebody in these-here comments really claim it is not a tragedy to be unable to parent their own child? Come say that to my face. (You may find that invitation as threatening as suits your purposes.) Clearly you have never been faced with the inability to parent. Especially knowing that somewhere in the world exists a person or institution with the ability to help you preserve your family but either you can't get their attention or they just don't care.

I lost my son to punitive adoption as retribution for putting my husband in jail, right here in the United States, with the threat of financial ruin hanging over my head. I did not know when entrusting my son to his paternal grandparents (my ex's mother and stepfather) that they had tried unsuccessfully for many years to conceive. I must have looked like the answer to prayer. All the judge cared about was my notarized signature. I was never even interviewed by family services or found unfit. This was in 1999-2000, not the 1950s. Right here in the U.S. Where presumably anyone could check my story. Now imagine what a mother in Ethiopia or Vietnam must be going through. And you *can't* check.

I am sure Mike would join me in requesting that we please keep cool heads - no threats veiled or otherwise. These are very highly emotionally charged subjects that cut close to people's hearts, but please let's all be as respectful as possible.

I URGE all posters to read you post and re-read it before hitting submit. Respect others as you wish to be respected.

I AM AN ADOPTEE!! My life is not a tragedy, it is beautiful. The circumstances of my birth may have caused heartache, but we all have heartaches in our lives, how we react to them and move on is what matters. I do not pretend to know how a birth mother feels giving up her child, I can only speculate. But I do know how an adoptee feels, and I know how it feels to be a mother, I also know how it feels to be a single mother and have an "untraditional" family, I know how my adoptive parents feel, and there is an abundance of love in my life. You are correct that love is infinite, it will not run out. We are able to love multiple people equally, without losing anything ourselves. Truly an amazing thing. I am able to love my parents and birth parents, my children, and my siblings all equally :) And who would honestly support the stealing of children? Let's be real here. As for the "natural" family, my point is that we cannot say that one family model is superior to another. If biology is what makes a family, then I guess I was not raised in a family.

Mirah-your work exposing corruption in adoption is admirable and neccessary, but your approach in this forum was harsh and will not win you any support from adoptive families. Shedding light on the subject and offering solutions would perhaps be a better route. In fact, I believe most people who have chosen to adopt or are adoptees would be very interested in what you have to say. Provided you stop casting blame, and start informing people on ways they can help.

Honestly? I don't understand a lot of these comments. People seem to think the reference to tragedy applies to the adopters instead of the child and the mother who has to give up her child. How can tearing a family apart for whatever reason, not be a tragedy? I find myself so frustrated with the view that adoption is a happy peppy thing all around.. My amother doesn't consider my feelings either. I don't mean that in a self pity way, I mean that she really doesn't seem to think I should have any feelings about this at all. It's like I'm an object she acquired to fill her life.ife. Adoptees do feel. Really they do. Before you go and say that just because I had a bad experience, most adoptees are happy, you need to know that just isn't true. You hear more from ones who think they are happy because the rest of us have learned to keep it to ourselves.You can tell yourself that if you like, but they are not happy inside.

"You also conveniently neglected to mention all the wonderful adoptions that DO NOT involve human trafficking."

If I am writing an article about cancer, or ALS or any other disease, and the pain it causes those stricken as well as their entire support system, do I need to include stats on how many people live and die without being stricken by such a disease? There is a myriad of happy adoption stories, especially during National Adoption Month. There are plenty of cheerleaders signing its praises.

Further, many adoptions are simply not AWARE that they may involve trafficking when in fact they very well might. Also, there are diff. levels of coercion and pressure - even in domestic and even in open domestic adoption. Again, no one simply hands over their child for the fun of it!

Reply to "Jessica:

Hey Liz,
Are you adopted? Is it a tragedy that you have wonderful loving parents? I missed nothing in this article. Good grief, why can't some people just concede that there are plenty of adoptions that are fulfilling for the parents, birth parents, and the child. "and keep it in captivity for the rest of its life?" Oh honestly, how can I take you seriously if you are going to make remarks like that?"

Yes, I am adopted. No, I did not have wonderful loving parents. My life was torn apart before I was even born. I lost certain rights such as the ability to get a passport or even a driver license in some states as well as smaller things like having a family tree or being able to join certain organizations that are based on genealogy.. I am bound into slavery and legally responsible for the care of my amother for the rest of my life or hers whom I would prefer never to see or hear from again because I was bound into a legal contract without my consent at the age of 8 hours. If you choose the wrong spouse at the age of consent, you are able to get a divorce and be legally free of them. An adopted child is never free. Not even when the adoptive parents die. We are held responsible for elder care among other things whether that parent ever did a thing for us or not. We have no voice and no rights and we are supposed to be grateful. guess what? That usually isn't the case.
.

I'm not trying to start an argument, but just because these are facts someone doesn't want to hear doesn't make the presentation of them harsh. The reply seems to be reasonable, fact filled, and polite. The person who only presents the "warm fuzzy side", filled with lies and misconceptions not based on facts, is the person who needs to apologize if anyone does. I don't understand the objection to having the truth presented especially when it is backed up with research and sources. Thank you, Mirah for presenting the other side.

Liz:
You are not the norm and I know you are more than aware of it. I'm sorry for your particular situation but fact is fact.

Erica, I knew you didn't mean any malice. I have several large support groups made up of other adoptees. The new passport rules require a long form birth certificate or signed affidavits and other things that an adoptee of a closed adoption doesn't have and has no way to get. An amended birth certificate or one missing both parents names will no longer be accepted. I know of at least two international adoptees who were deported back to a country they knew nothing about when they applied for a passport because the weren't legally adopted and therefore not legally an American.There's also the question of medical history being denied to us. I have breast cancer. I may have other health issues that are genetic. Doctors write adopted on our charts and they don't check for things as they would if I could say for instance my father dies of a heart attack. We're just out there, Outside normalcy.

I am an adoptee as well....and yes, adoption is a tragedy. And I experienced a "good adoption". Being taken from my family and having them replaced with another, then changing my identity was not and never will be ok. I'm reunited with my natural parents now for 20 years and we're never able to get those years back. I'd like to ad THIS HAS NOT A THING TO DO WITH MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS who are wonderful people. Please implying that just because one has a "good experience" in adoption that there isn't a loss. THERE IS. I will never, ever, ,ever support adoption. It's a permanent "solution" for a temporary situation. I believe all children should be parented by their natural parent and if that's not possible, a family member. As a last resort guardianship with always having full disclosure to the child's natural family. Giving (selling) a child to strangers, changing it's identity then sealing the very document that holds one's true identity is disgusting and shame on anyone who supports it.

Keep the comments above the board. Thus far, I don't see anything on a personal attack level that warrants deletion, but let's try to keep it clean.

"I am the product of a domestic adoption, and I'm quite happy that my parents "purchased" me. "

I assum this is sarcasm, but what if you were an and adult adoptee who learned they were literally purchased? Is that not a "tragedy" on many levels? And what makes purchasing a person morally and ethically okay? What are you defending, exactly? No one is attacking the love your parents showed you, and one has to wonder why the defense?

My point is, that while YOUR adoption may to YOU be wonderful and loving, there are many, many others that are NOT. The media spends the vast majority of time propping up adoption and showing only one side, all too often, yours. But there are many (like myself, and adoptive parent) that take strong opposition to your assertions that adoption is a bed of roses, because that's an easier pill to swallow, isn't it?

It takes brave, courageous voices like Mirah's, to stand up against the tide of opposition to express the thoughts and feelings of those who are continually silenced.

Yes, Erica, most of us do get new birth certificates if we are adopted at birth, but there is a time limit involved so if you are adopted later as a child you have a really hard time.. If the birth certificate is changed after that time, it is not considered valid for identification to get a passport. I'm going to post the rules here for other people.
*A certified birth certificate has a registrar's raised, embossed, impressed or multicolored seal, registrar's signature, and the date the certificate was filed with the registrar's office, which must be within 1 year of your birth. Please note, some short (abstract) versions of birth certificates may not be acceptable for passport purposes.

Beginning April 1, 2011, all birth certificates must also include the full names of the applicant's parent(s). For more information, please see New Requirement for all U.S. Birth Certificates.
So many of us don't have this or the ability to get documentation to work around this. I was speaking with a man this morning whose daughter wants to go to college in Australia and he can't leave the country to see her graduate. He also has to turn down internationals projects offered through his work. It's a mess and things may change eventually, but not soon enough.

New U.S. Birth Certificate Requirement

Beginning April 1, 2011, the U.S. Department of State will require the full names of the applicant’s parent(s) to be listed on all certified birth certificates to be considered as primary evidence of U.S. citizenship for all passport applicants, regardless of age. Certified birth certificates missing this information will not be acceptable as evidence of citizenship. This will not affect applications already in-process that have been submitted or accepted before the effective date.

For more information, see 22 CFR 51.42(a).

To obtain a new birth certificate, see the CDC.

In addition to this requirement, certified copies of birth certificates must also include the following information to be considered acceptable primary evidence of U.S. citizenship:

Full name of the applicant
Date of birth
Place of birth
Raised, embossed, impressed or multicolored seal of issuing authority
Registrar’s signature
The date the certificate was filed with the registrar’s office (must be within one year)

If you cannot obtain a birth certificate that meets these requirements, please see Secondary Evidence of U.S. Citizenship.

Jessica - I have no idea who Michelle Berglund is or where she is mentioned in my blog post.

There are happy adoptees, content, grateful, etc. And there are unhappy adoptees, some because they have been abused, some because - no matter how well loved and cared for - they have no right to their own birth certificate in most states.

That some adoptees are happy is a moot point, however. I am divorced and happily so, but I do not go around promoting divorce as a solution without the knowledge that divorce divides a family, causes separation and loss and much consequence especially for children. It is not something to be taken lightly and should be a last resort only when it is the only alternative, despite the fact it often leads to new family creations.

The same should apply to adoption but it doesn't. Adoption is praised, sold as "win-win" when it is a trade off. It's promoted & encouraged with federal tax credits etc. as if all adoption were equally altruistic, which they are not. The majority of getting tax credits are used to take children from foster care - as that incentive was originally intended - but rather to adopt internationally at tax payers expense, leaving tax payers still supporting the children in foster care.

So the happiness or not of adoptees is not the point - or at least not MY point! For me, the issue is the adoption INDUSTRY and the corruption that the gvt does nothing to control. For me, the end does not justify the means. And for me, even one child stolen or kidnapped for adoption is one too many.

Does it help if I say that RELINQUISHMENT is a tragedy (not adoption)? That a mother not being able to support or care for her child is a tragedy?

THAT is what I mean when I say every adoption BEGINS with a tragedy. Without a mother loosing her child - a tragedy to most moral people in a sane culture - there would be no adoption.

And that applies to so-called "voluntary" as well involuntary relinquishments. is it not a tragedy when a child is removed because he has allegedly been abused?

So, can we agree that relinquishment is a tragedy?

Ya'll might want to check out this radio interview podcast:

http://www.tinyspark.org/podcast/adoption/

Michelle - Thank you for clarifying that for me about Michelle. If you note the title of my piece above it is an OPINION! I do not feel the need to apologize for having a difference of opinion. We are ALL entitled to have our opinions, and we all have to accept that not everyone will agree. From my perspective, as one who has researched adoption for more than 30 years, there is little regulation over fees paid for adoption and internationally and it has been found that in many instances some of those fees go to baby brokers and child traffickers, as I have indicated, often without the knowledge of those adopting or even their agencies. I think it naive to believe that there is ever any way of knowing for 100% sure that any adoption is free of all coercion or exploitation, except as I have indicated when birth parents are met in some case after the fact.

Mirah, I'd be curious to know what you suggest as an alternative to a birth mother who is not in a position to be a parent. There are many women who find themselves pregnant and are unable to care for that child due to various circumstances, if adoption isn't an option for these women what is the alternative? Having a child raised by their, what you call, "Natural" parent who is perhaps not capable or willing? Is it better for a child to grow up in a home that cicumstancially was not prepared to have a child than to be raised by adoptive parents who are overjoyed, prepared and willing to be parents?

Samara,

First, my concern is child trafficking, exploitation and corruption...not necessary or truly unpressured voluntary placements. Secondly, I have not used the word "natural" herein.

To answer your question, neither I nor anyone I know of, support forcing anyone to be a parent who is not able or willing. That would be utterly absurd and quite dangerous.

I advocate Family Preservation...seeking to secure whatever help and assistance a family in crisis needs: financial support, drug or alcohol rehabilitation, anger management, parenting classes, whatever. States that offer this "in-home" care instead of foster care find it more cost effective with far more successful outcomes for the children than foster care removals, some of which lead to adoption.

Part and parcel is exploring the extended family of both the mother and father. Family Finding finds double digit extended family members for children aging out of foster care. If they did the same for children going IN, many family separations might be unnecessary, saving tax payers money in addition to saving a child from foster care - statistically known to be an unsafe environment.

Indeed, adoption is all too often a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and far to many are unnecessary. Further adoption holds no guarantee of a "better" life, only a different one and trades off one set of issues - usually financial - for other issues such as identity and feelings of abandonment.

You might be interested to know that the major reason worldwide for adoption placements is poverty. Poverty far outweighs all other reasons, i.e. abuse or neglect COMBINED!

You might also be interested to know that 90% of children in orphanages worldwide are not orphans but have at least one parent or extended family who visit, often bringing food. Most have been placed in order to provide health care, education or regular meals, but their families plan to reunify - as was the case with the two children Madonna adopted. Many people in the world have no concept of the permanence of adoption as we practice it here in the US. Many such people who cannot read or write sign papers thinking their children are coming tot he US for an education. They are duped.

The position of the UN and many NGOs that work on the ground in impoverished nations is that adoption should be a last resort for these children. Taking children one at a time does nothing to ameliorate the poverty of their family, village or nation. The tens of thousands spent on each adoption could instead dig a well, or buy medicine, or build a school or buy books. THAT is altruism. Adoption may be, but as I have said, it's a trade off and many adults who have been internationally adopted are speaking out about it how it feels from their perspective to have been torn from their culture.

I highly recommend books by Jane Jeong Trenka:
* The Language of Blood, Graywolf Press, 2005
* Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption, South End Press, 2006
* Fugitive Visions: An Adoptee's Return to Korea, Graywolf Press, 2009

There are also some good documentaries about Latina adopted adults trying to find their roots, and other Asian adoptees. Most, like Trenka, are grateful but also angry.

The other thing that the high fees Americans pay, is that it makes it more difficult for those within these culture who want to adopt to compete. IA is far more profitable to foreign orphanages and effects who gets approved to adopt. Money, by its very nature, is corrupting and thousands of dollars is HUGE in a poor region of the world. Again, not to recognize this is pure naivety or defensiveness creating a blind spot.

** None of this is to disparage the love and caring adoptive families offer. ** Those who adopted in the past before all of these realities came to light are not to blame....however, to continue to promote or encourage adoption knowing what we know now is simply wrong, IMO. Australia has apologized for forcing unwed mothers to relinquish and now practices Family Preservation as any moral society would. It is wrong to encourage family loss and separation unnecessarily or simply to meet a demand. Adoption today - by all who have studied it - is demand-driven.

“Regrettably, in many cases, the emphasis has changed from the desire to provide a needy child with a home, to that of providing a needy parent with a child. As a result, a whole industry has grown, generating millions of dollars of revenues each year . . .”

The Special Rapporteur, United Nations, Commission on Human Rights, 2003.

My definition of Family Preservation appears here:
http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/p/what-is-family-preservation.html

From Philanthropy.com via ETHICA - an organization of adoptive parent sconcerned about ethical adoption <http://www.ethicanet.org/exposing-corruption-in-international-adoption>;:

Tiny Spark is new podcast on the business of doing good. The first installment takes a look at corruption in international adoption and how it has caused problems despite the generous impulses of many parents. Amy Costello, a freelance reporter and radio producer, hosts and produces the program.

In the past decade, American parents have adopted some quarter of a million children from Cambodia, China, Ethiopia, Nepal, and elsewhere. And in all of these countries and others, fraud has been uncovered.

Pressure from children’s advocates and others are leading to changes. But problems persist.

For insights about how the process of trying to place needy children in good homes can go so wrong, Ms. Costello talks with Jennifer Hemsley, who spent years trying to figure out whether a child she tried to adopt from Guatemala had been kidnapped from her birth parents.

She also interviews Erin Siegal, author of the new book, Finding Fernanda, a new investigative account of international corruption in the adoption system in Guatemala.

Perhaps the individual who said they did not buy a child, they paid fees to adopt, knew in their particular individual case that there was no coercion.

I never made any personal attack on the individual. I commented on the overall fallacy of beleiving that in general. Adoption fees are the incentive for baby brokers and adoption facilitators who in turn find babies or pressure mothers to MEET A DEMAND. No fees, no demand, no coercion, no exploitation. No Johns, no prostitution and no trafficking of women and girls for that purpose. Do you get that?

I'm sorry if that feels hurtful. As i said, those who adopted in the past and didn't know are not be blamed. Many of them share my views and fight to create change and stop the corruption going forward.

"Over the past decades, hundreds of thousands of large-hearted Westerners—eager to fill out their families while helping a child in need–have adopted from poor and troubled countries. In many cases—especially in adoptions from China or former Soviet bloc countries—these adoptions were desperately needed, saving children from crippling lives in hard-hearted institutions. But too few Westerners are aware that in too many countries, there’s a heartbreaking underside to international adoption. For decades, international adoption has been a Wild West, all but free of meaningful law, regulation, or oversight. Western adoption agencies, seeking to satisfy consumer demand, have poured millions of dollars of adoption fees into underdeveloped countries. Those dollars and Euros have, too often, induced the unscrupulous to buy, defraud, coerce, and sometimes even kidnap children away from families that loved and would have raised them to adulthood."

The dollars INDUCED the corruption.

Not my words.

http://www.brandeis.edu/investigate/gender/adoption/index.html