Last week, I blogged about what MEN wish WOMEN knew... today we are turning the tables.  So here are 6 things that WOMEN wish MEN knew:

1.) YOU DID NOT MARRY YOUR MOTHER!

Guys, it's time to cut the cord!  When you compare your wife to your mom, you are putting her in an awkward situation.  Don't expect that the family you are creating together is going to look like the family you grew up in!  Let your wife be your wife!

2.) IT'S IMPORTANT YOU REASSURE US OF YOUR LOVE BY TELLING & SHOWING US.

"She knows I love her!  I told her when we got married 16 years ago... if it changes, I'll let her know!"  You're missing it dude!  How often do you TELL her and SHOW her that you love her?  How often do you go out of your way to communicate your feelings to her in a way that she feels valued and loved?  The Bible says in Colossians 3:19:

Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

That is pretty straightforward.  What words and what tone are you using to communicate that you love her and value her? 

3.) WE DON'T NEED YOU TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS!

Guys, I know how confusing this is!  "You just told me about a problem you're having, I know the solution, why are you frustrated with me for offering it?"

Because she doesn't want you to solve her problem... she wants you to LISTEN and VALIDATE how she is feeling!  She wants you to empathize and understand where she is coming from.  This is hard for us as guys because our natural tendency is to run it through our own perspective and our own way of thinking, and if we don't feel that way, then we think, "You shouldn't feel that way!" 

MEN - remove from your vocabulary the phrase, "You shouldn't feel that way!" Learn to listen and empathize and watch her feelings towards you grow!

4.) WE LIKE SEX TOO, BUT WE NEED SOME TIME TO WARM UP!

Men are like microwaves, women are like crock pots!  Men can heat up in 30 seconds, women need to be turned on early and allowed to simmer throughout the day!  

Men connect emotionally through sex, women need to connect emotionally FIRST in order to desire sex.  So guys, what are you doing to romance her and turn on the crock pot?  

Are you showing her affection?  Are you texting her in the middle of the day to let her know she is on your mind?  Are you telling her that you value her?  Are you helping out around the house?  Those are small emotional connections for her that make sex with you desireable!  If you are not doing those things, it doesn't matter how suave you think you are, you cannot expect her to want to have sex with you when you haven't laid the foundation of connecting with her emotionally!

5.) WE NEED TO FEEL SECURE.

Security in marriage is built on trust!  If there is anything in your life that is hidden or topics that are off limits to discuss, it erodes her sense of security!  Be proactive about protecting yourself from things that have the potential to destroy your marriage!

If you struggle with porn, or frequently check out other women, or make comments about female celebrities, you are eroding the security that your wife finds in your marriage because you are always comparing her to others!  SHE needs to be the standard of beauty under which ALL ELSE FALLS!  She needs a guy who is totally into her!  Security and intimacy in marriage is built on trust, so what are you doing to protect yourself, your marriage, and your family?

If you need resources regarding help with porn addiction, you can do so anonymously and without judgment by clicking here

6.) DON'T STOP PURSUING US!

Guys are hunters!  Once we have the catch, we stop hunting!  When you were dating, you would actually shower, pull up in your car to take her out, cue your Backstreet Boys mix tape to set the mood, and open the door for her when she came out to meet you. 

Now you sit in the driveway, honk at her to hurry up, and wonder why the romance is dead!

Whatever you did to get her attention when you were dating... DO THAT NOW! Never stop in your attempts to win her attention and affection!

I hope that you found 1 or 2 things that you can apply to help you with your marriage this week!  Thanks for reading!

-jeremiah