Albertville Father Gives Son The Gift of Time

Bob Calcagno never planned on being a stay-at-home dad. If anything, he thought he was just along for the ride.

When Bob and his wife of three years, Claudia, were expecting their son, he didn't do much to prepare for fatherhood.

"Everything was great. Her pregnancy was textbook. She was the one reading the books and doing all the 'baby stuff,'" Bob said.

The couple had tried to conceive for close to 18 months before becoming pregnant, and the pregnancy went well for Claudia. When they found out they were expecting a boy the couple, with strong Italian roots on both sides, picked the name Vico right out of the Italian phonebook.

On Jan. 18, 2008, their lives would forever be changed. Claudia, two weeks overdue, was induced. The induction quickly turned into a c-section, and Vico Claudio Guinetti Calcagno was born.

Within hours of Vico's birth, and in the early morning hours of January 19, Claudia passed away.

Bob, who knew nothing about babies and raising a son, was now not only a single dad, but also a widower.

"I don't remember the first few months of Vico's life," he said. "I had a great support system, and I don't know what I would have done without them."

Bob's parents, sister, aunt and mother-in-law all rallied around and cared for Vico while Bob grieved the loss of his wife.

Eventually, Bob realized it was time.

"I told my mom, I'm never going to learn if you're here to take care of everything all the time," he said. "It was a struggle but I needed to do it." 

He returned to work for awhile until he was laid off, and he decided rather than finding a new job he wanted to make up for some of what he'd missed.

"I enjoy being home. It's helped my relationship with Vico a lot," Bob said.

"He's such a great dad," lifelong friend Kristi Dell said. "He's gone through so much but has really pulled through and you can tell that Vico is a great, well behaved kid because of him."

Bob has been also attending ECFE classes with his sidekick, bringing him to preschool, playing LEGOS and just watching Vico being a big kid.

"I admire Bob as a father to Vico," ECFE teacher Rhonda Heideman. "He's an inspiration."

One can't help but be inspired to see Bob parent Vico or listen to him talk about his son.

"The look on his face when I sit down and play with him is worth his weight in gold ... and I like playing just as much as he does," Bob said, smiling. "I'm so proud to have created him. I couldn't possibly describe the love I feel for him."

Vico knows his mom is in heaven, and Bob has tried to keep things very basic and age-appropriate over the years.

"It makes me so sad that one day he's going to get it," he said. "One day he's going to understand. That's a tough pill to swallow. She would have been a great mom. She already was for nine months."

The emotional part of getting over the loss of Claudia was difficult. Not only does Bob live with her legacy in Vico, but legal proceedings between himself and New River Medical Center have been a part of his daily life for the last four years as well.

The state's appellate court recently upheld the decision to award Bob and his son, $4.6 million, due to negligence on behalf of the hospital and the providers.

"I'm glad it's over. It offers me the opportunity to the be the best father I can be by giving Vico my time. I want to be able to volunteer in his classroom and be the one waiting at his bus stop. The settlement allows me that," Bob said.

As far as Vico's understanding of the settlement, his dream of having a mini-van will soon come true.

"He wants a mini-van, so we're getting a mini-van," Bob said, laughing.

Most of all Bob says he's grateful for all the help along this road.

"I really believe it takes a village, I subscribe to that now more than ever. My neighbors and friends and family have helped so much. I'm so grateful."