"I'VE GOT ISSUES!" Part Three

I have been writing a series of posts about my issues... and I'm hoping that some of you can relate. Last week, I talked about my issue of GUILT. Guilt says, "I owe you!" If you struggle with the issue of guilt, the solution is to regularly practice confession - both to God and to the person that you hurt through your actions.

Another issue that I have is ANGER. While guilt says, "I owe you", anger is the opposite dynamic. Anger says, "You owe me!" Anger says that by your words or your actions, you took something from me, and we are not going to be okay until you pay back what you stole from me. I have an open ledger with your name on it, and until that is paid in full, I am holding this ledger open. Unfortunately, what has been stolen from you is often something that cannot be repaid!

And so the only one suffering is me, and the people in this season of my life who are the closest to me! Unresolved anger in my life causes me to lash out at the people in my closest vicinity, but they can't resolve my anger, because their name is not on the account that is open! The Bible says this in Ephesians 4:26-27:

And "don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

The author of these verses gives some incredibly practical advice when it comes to dealing with our issue of anger!

1.) ANGER IS AN EMOTION, NOT A SIN!

It's not a sin to be angry! I think that some people think that anger is a sin, but it's not. The author simply warns us that anger can DRIVE us to sinful behavior, but experiencing the emotion of anger itself isn't sinful. We simply need to determine how we are going to deal with that emotion when we experience it. 

2.) DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER ASAP!

Don't let the sun set on your anger if possible. In other words, don't carry your anger with you from one season of life into the next. When you do, it becomes very easy to lose sight of the original source of your hurt, and the people who are the closest to you in this season of life are the ones who end up getting hit with all the relational shrapnel of your unresolved anger!

3.) UNRESOLVED ANGER IS A DESTRUCTIVE FORCE!

Whether you believe in the Bible or not, one of the things that I think we would all agree with is that unresolved anger is a detriment to healthy relationships. Angry people have a difficult time sustaining healthy relationships.

So what's the solution? FORGIVENESS!

Forgiveness is not an emotion - it's not something that you FEEL. Forgiveness is a decision - it's something that you DO! You look at that ledger, and you look at what you feel was taken from you, and you look at the name at the top of that ledger, and you CANCEL THE DEBT! 

The reason that is so difficult for us to do is that it doesn't appeal to our sense of fairness. We feel that it lets the offender off the hook. But that's because we don't truly understand that forgiveness is actually for the benefit of the offended. It frees US from having to carry around a ledger and keep score and hold everyone at arm's length until they restore something that they probably never could anyways! Forgiveness does more than set them free - IT SETS US FREE!

After all, that's what God did for us! The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32:

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ as forgiven you.

It's very difficult to make the decision to forgive in light of those who hurt you. You will only ever find the motiviation to forgive when you look to the One who has forgiven you! May you find the motivation to forgive and cancel the debt this week!

If you would like to hear more about this topic, click here!

-jeremiah

Lead Pastor
Westbridge Church